The “correct” thing to do on March 8th in social media land was jump on the International Women’s Day train. To talk about the women that inspired me or how far we’ve come. How far we have to go. In fact, I wrote most of this at 11pm that night.
Truth is, I was busy. I was busy momming and handling things and working. Now it’s March 10th.
I cried a lot this week. A lot of it is circumstantial, but really, I’m depleted right now. I can’t carry all of the weight, and I’m tired of all of the things I feel like I’m supposed to be. I’m tired of feeling like I’m simultaneously too much and not enough. Tired of feeling like I never know where I fit. I’m tired of not knowing what I’m supposed to be doing and somehow still doing everything.
As women, our role in workplaces and churches and households is always a topic and that is exhausting. We are supposed to be moms, and being a mom is the most amazing thing we can be. But also, we can’t just be moms because that’s a failure. We have to be beautiful and strong. But not too beautiful or strong because that’s threatening. And we’re supposed to be nurturing but also driven. Authentic but not too authentic, lest we offend someone with our emotions.
I’m here to admit that I don’t know what I’m supposed to be in the eyes of the world. No matter how hard I work or how much I give it is never going to be right.
I’m also here to say that I’m working every single day to not care about that anymore.
Last night, I finally chose to set some of the burdens down because they are not mine. I’ve done this a hundred times over the years, because it’s a life-long process. If I’m not enough for someone, that has to be okay, and it does not mean that I am not enough. The truth is that I’m not okay, but also I’ve never been better. Those things coexist in a weird space that I’m trying to navigate right now.
So. If your week has been like mine and there have been a lot of tears and frustration and exhaustion, you’re not alone.
You’re still enough. We’re all still enough. Here’s permission to set some stuff down.
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Some other solid encouragement for your week:
- How to get better at planning for chaos – you don’t, really.
- Did you really fail? Or are you just a fish trying to climb a tree?
- Recharging Your Creativity: When, why, and how to do it right
About the Writer: Allie Gravitt is a mom of 4 and lives in metro Atlanta with a house full of animals and plants. Her debut poetry collection, prisonbreaks, and second collection Killing Ghosts are available now on Amazon. Follow Allie’s writing journey on TikTok and Instagram.